How To Rebuild Your Self-Esteem After A Divorce
by Tycoon2k
Your self-esteem - what you think of yourself in relation to
other people - is the basic secret of your success or failure in
life.
It's really as simple as that... Think well of yourself, and
you'll do well. Think disparagingly of yourself, and you'll
probably not do very well at all .
Regardless of whether you're the perpetrator or the victim, the
experience of going through a divorce is going to damage your
self-esteem. In fact, the blow dealt to one's self-esteem by
divorce is lethal enough to drive anyone to the brink of
insanity.
What you must do is think of your divorce - the end of your
marriage - as you would the death of a loved one. Basically,
that's what it is!
There is a period of burial or of letting go; a period of
feeling guilty because you didn't do or say all the things you
might have; a period of anger because it didn't work out the way
you dreamed it would; a period of reconciliation in which you
think maybe if you try again, it'll all work out; and finally, a
period of acceptance.
Everyone who has ever been through a divorce or is still
recovering from one, has either lived through each of these
"recovery stages," or is still in one of them. It's all normal,
and a part of the necessary healing that has to take place
before you are able to recognize and enjoy happiness again.
Even so, the most important and the very first thing you must do
following the break-up of any kind of relationship, is to get
started on the rebuilding of your self-esteem.
This means that you have to accept the fact that neither you or
anyone else is perfect - determine that you will learn from your
mistakes - and that you will become whatever it is you aspire to
be...
Immediately, do something that makes you feel good - something
you've been wanting to do for some time - or always wanted to
do. This could be getting a new hair-do, buying a new suit,
enrolling in a special self-improvement course, starting a
business, or even taking an extended vacation.
You musn't lock yourself in your house or apartment. You musn't
be afraid to get out and associate with people. You musn't stop
wanting to enjoy life!
You may have to force yourself, but you must "forget" about
mourning your loss and continue on with your life. You must go
on with your life with a stronger determination than ever, to be
the person you want to be. Don't "beat yourself over the head"
with feelings of guilt. Get rid of your anger as quickly as
possible. Forget about the past. Get on with the rest of your
life without delay!
Revitalize those ambitions that have been "hidden away" in the
back of your mind, and consider this particular time in your
life as an opportunity for a new start. Do some introspection
relative to what it is you want out of life; reorganize your
time and efforts to attain those objectives; and go for it with
all you've got!
After all has been said and done, the kind of person you are and
how you get along in the world you live in, is up to you. The
most powerful assistance for attaining happiness anyone has, is
in what he or she says, feels, and believes about himself or
herself. When things are not quite right, the first thing that
needs to be changed is your disposition - your attitude,
feelings towards other people, and your emotional responses.
Think about your facial expressions and the tone of your voice
when you're talking with other people. Being aware of these
things with consideration towards other people, will "bring you
out of your-self" and allow other people to want to know more
about you.
You have to forget about, and let go of, the past. Anything and
everything that happened yesterday is long gone and cannot be
changed. You have the rest of your life from this moment on, to
achieve love - happiness - fame and fortune.
Whatever it is you want in life can be yours. All that's
necessary to make any dream come true is a true understanding of
what you want, and determination on your part to make it all
happen according to your plan. Think about what you want -
prepare yourself to get it - focus your efforts on the
fulfillment of your ambitions - and there's nothing that can
stop you from total realization!
So, the first thing relative to rebuilding one's self-esteem -
following a divorce, or the loss of a loved one by any
circumstances - is to understand why you hurt, and what is
necessary in order to be happy again. It essential that you
think of YOURSELF in terms of the kind of life you want for
yourself; know that you can have it all because you've laid the
foundation, done your homework, and you're on a positive road
towards achievement; and then get busy "making tracks" in that
direction.
In simple terms - it hurts, but you're not dead - you're only
wasting time thinking about or rehashing the past because
there's no way anything that happened yesterday or the day
before can be changed - so quickly pick up the pieces, and get
on with your life!
Wanting to "get well," and/or to "make something out of your
life," is half the battle!
How To Rebuild Your Self-Esteem After A Divorce
by Tycoon2k
